Good grief, it's been ages!! One and a half years to be precise! That's how long it's been since I've blogged. This blog started out as a means for a bunch of friends to keep in touch when we all left Singapore and headed off for brighter, greener shores. Since then, it's developed into more of a means to document different points in my life.

The past year and a half has been extremely interesting to say the least and I'll do my best to give you a quick summary.

In June 08, Mel and I moved out of Marg's place on Thingy Street and back into Irma's place. Irma's an elderly lady I boarded with when I first moved to Tauranga. Stayed there for a bit and then moved out thinking I was going to be moving to Auckland and then to Wellington soon. That didn't happen..there were work dramas and I ended up pretty much living out of my suitcase and friend's houses till September!! It was a most unsettling period, I can tell you that much! What was meant to be a month or 2 in Auckland turned into six! That was interesting too..I stayed at a hostel for working people. If I'd known that I was going to be there for longer than a month or two, I would have moved into a flat. But oh well..the hostel was interesting...met a couple of characters like the Scottish chap from down the hallway who kept trying to chat me up..the lady a few doors down from one of the boys who used to get drunk and collapse all over the show. The first time she did that, she chose to collapse just outside my neighbour's room. I heard the thud, went out to investigate and was shocked out of my wits to find a pale, practically white-faced woman lying facedown on the floor! It was 11.3o and I'd been watching a movie on my laptop. I called the hostel manager in a panic and he came up. Together we lifted her and carried her back to her room. She was NOT light!

Last Christmas was interesting as well. An old friend visited NZ and we went on a trip down to the south island. Let's just say that the trip didn't turn out anything close to what I had envisioned it to be like. Instead of sticking around and letting my holiday (I hadn't had a break since that April, work had been crazy, life had been so uncertain - the last thing I needed was the holiday I had so carefully planned being ruined!) fall to pieces, I upped and left. Best thing I ever did! I had a wonderful time making my way back to Christchurch from Queenstown and staying at a B&B on the way back - and one owned by an author no less!

In Christchurch I met up with Leila, hung out and read a lot and met a couple of interesting people at the backpackers.

In March, Manavi and Anthony turned up (my sister and brother-in-law) and I had a week-long break in Wellington with them. It was lovely, we had a great time and we both cried when we parted.

I moved to Wellington soon after, met a lovely lovely man - we were introduced to each other by a mutual friend and we hit it off almost immediately! Things have certainly progressed since then and we're in the process of buying a house together now!

In the past couple of days, I've started religously reading blogs that belong to Craft Goddesses! I've been away for so long that I've kind of lost track of blog protocol and so I'm not sure if I can mention them here! I will check that up and get back to you on that one! But for now, let me just say that I'm bowled over by their talent and dedication to the art of craft and I'm also inspired to do a little crafting of my own (I especially want to make stuff for the new house, to make it a cosy home!) So at lunchtime, I walked over to Trade Aid and bought a little printing block of my own! It's a peacock and I thought that was very apt since it's India's national bird! Then later in the evening, as I walked around waiting for Ewan to get out of a meeting, I bought a half metre piece of cloth..it's so so so pretty I wouldn't mind a blouse out of it..and a mini funnel in bright, cheery red which will be so handy when I make my next bottle of freshly squeezed juice (which I've been doing rather regularly off late...ok twice in total, but that's regular for someone who's never done it before!)

In the new house, we will grow our own veges, bake our own dessert and biscuits, squeeze fruits and make bottles of fresh juice and I might even attempt pickles and preserves!

In terms of crafting, I have decided to start with Xmas pressies this year - everyone who gets a Xmas pressie from me will receive it in wrapping that will be specially handmade by yours truly! A small start, I know, especially when I view the fruits of the Crafts Goddesses labour, but baby steps, I say, baby steps!

And now, I bid you adieu! I'm glad to be back in blogosphere and I intend to post much more often than I have! I will even try to revamp my site and get my techno-savvy other half to show me how to upload pics if I can't figure it out myself.

Watch this space!! Nite!  ¶ 8:57 pm

  A little bit of everything So if you're like me, and you've always liked peeping into other people's houses, you might enjoy this website - it's called normal room and it's basically a collection of pics people have uploaded, of their houses and I think it's meant to give you ideas with regards to interior decoration etc.

The person whose blog I got it off, said it was extremely addictive etc etc. It was interesting, but not as great as I expected it to be - but well, I still managed to spend half an hour on it!!

There was this one particular house in Germany (I think) that I quite liked. Still not quite my dream home (which really exists, by the way. In my head. I've been furnishing it since I was about ten years old. Pity I didn't document any of the zillion things I picked out for it...) but close enough - crisp, clean lines, comfy but contemporary furniture and clutter-free. If it had been my dream home, however, it would have had a lot more wood, the occassional colourful piece, a lot less white and more cream and it would have been cosier. One thing I've learnt from Eamon's house (I was thrilled to bits when I first met Eamon about 8 months back and realised how his name was spelt and pronounced - I had read countless novels set in Ireland where I'd come across the name, which fascinated me, but had had no idea as to it's pronunciation) is that open fires are brilliant provided you have a big enough living room. I love love love open fires - they're oh-so-romantic - but if it's in a room that's too small, it gives me a godawful headache).

There was a lot more I wanted to say, considering I've had a rather crap weekend - not something I really want to blog about, suffice it to say that I never thought I'd be right smack in the middle of a juvenile drama at the ripe old age of 29 - but I can't remember any of it at the moment. I've worked pretty much non-stop from 8.45am till now (4.45pm) and I'm ready to go home and curl up on the couch with a chilled glass of wine.  ¶ 12:13 pm

  Best shopping in the world! Just quickly, because I'm not done with work yet and I'm actually in-between clients (needed some quick online retail therapy to get my sense of equilibrium back) I must share my current favourite online shopping site.

I discovered it while I was looking up something else online during lunch - mooovvve over trademe, and let me introduce *drrrumrolll* www.thehungersite.com

Super cool stuff at decent prices and all for a good cause - what more can you ask for!? I've already added about 6 things to my cart and I'm not halfway done yet. Of course, the prices are all in US dollars, so I might need to tip a few things out of the cart before I'm done (since I'll have to pay shipping costs as well) but ohmigod. I was totally hyperventilating as I checked out the jewellery, the tussar silk scarves, the mini journals (*breaaaathe*breaaathe*) the amazing woman magnet (I think I'll get that for Farida) and a ton of other things.

Ok I have to run now!

I think i'm totally back into this blogging thing yaaaay!

Later, aligator!

Labels: Shopping

  ¶ 2:59 pm

  P.S Oh and I forgot to add that if I'm ever a mother, I'd like to be a mom like Dooce!

Ok now i'm reeaallly off home!  ¶ 5:03 pm

  Blogs.. I actually logged on to Blogger to talk about a new blog i found which is very well written and has some of the funniest and most poignant posts I've ever read! It's called Sweet Juniper and it's written by a lawyer-turned-stay-at-home-dad and his lawyer wife. It's interesting that I stumbled upon it (through another blog I've been reading for years called Dooce. If I ever go to Salt Lake City, I will get in touch with Heather - I feel I know her, John and Leta. Crazy but that's the wonderful world of cyberspace for you!) today, because it documented her 2nd pregnancy in detail (the birth too actually) and since Dutch is a stay at home dad, he does most of the writing and he blogs quite a bit about parenthood and children and he does it in an interesting thought-provoking way and not in the my-baby's-moving-on-to-solids-my-toddler-refuses-to-be-potty trained style that many less interesting bloggers adopt. It's interesting that I stumbled upon this blog today since (and I'm sure you've noticed) the topic of babies and parenthood is one that has had me confused for a while now.

Anyway, I think "Dutch" is the personification of all I've ever subconsciously imagined my husband to be. Sigh - Wood is one lucky woman! Altho..hmm..I'm not sure if I'd be too thrilled with a stay-at-home husband..but I think that's more coz I've never really considered it, altho 1 of my exes always used to say that he'd like to be a stay-@-home dad....I don't think I ever took him seriously tho...there's no way I earn enough to have my husband stay home and take care of the kids.

Anyway, I think the weather's getting to me - I need to go home and curl up in bed, under the covers, with this book I borrowed from Rekha which I'm loving (It's Q&A by Vikas Swarup - an interesting read) with another mug of steaming hot chocolate! Perfect weather for it....I hate gloomy weather :(

Unless I have a fire and a certain someone to curl up with in front of the fire. On that note, I'm going home now.  ¶ 4:20 pm

  Rekha's Bday weekend It's a gloomy day today and I'm suffering from post-weekend blues or weekend-withdrawal symptoms. It was an interesting weekend - I decided at the 11th hour, that I would go to Palmy for Rekha's bday. I hadn't seem her all year and I thought it was about time I headed back to Palmy for a visit.

The only problem was that I didn't trust my car to get me there in 1 piece and I'm also not a confident enough driver to make it all the way too Palmy. In the dark. In winter. And definitely not by myself. There were no grab-a-seat deals and flights were proving way too expensive - $600 return. The train doesn't pass through Tauranga so that left me with the bus. There was no bus after 4pm on Friday from Tauranga. So in the end, I picked Mel up from work at 5pm after a crazy busy day and we drove to Rotorua in the dark. In fog. By the time we reached Rotorua, I was a quaking bag of nerves in dire need of alcohol to ease the terror. We got to the club, where the rest of her family was about about 7pm, had a nice hot meal, played game after game of pool and calmed our frazzled nerves with Bacardi Breezers.

Back at her home, we did girly things like straightened each others' hair (1.5hrs) while watching rugby league much to her father's disgust, took photos of aforementioned straightened hair (1hr) and played with Cadbury the cat. At 10.30, I called and booked a cab despite her mother's protests (she was very sleepy) and at 11pm (after a quickie back cracking session - my back was killing me, I had to sit 5 and a half hours on the night bus, we had wasted too much time on our hair!) I jumped into the cab after quick goodbye hugs all round and set off in the rain and blistering cold (roto-vegas as Mel calls is freezing in winter) to the bus stop.

As I paid the friendly cabby and he deposited my bags on the bench, I realised that I had left my new cherry red winter coat, my prized possession, the only coat I had brought for the weekend, on Mel's sofa. I hadn't seen it coz Mark (one of her brothers) had decided to sit right there...

I texted Mel, just to let her know that she could use it over the weekend, since i'd stupidly left it behind and instead of thanking me what does that girl do? She and her mom jump into their car and race over to give me my coat! They got there 2mins before the bus. I was so touched!

Anyway the weekend was great - the night bus ride was such an adventure. I read a bit, listened to music on my new ipod nano (I'm so tech-unsavvy that I managed to delete half the songs I had on my ipod just before the trip!), stared out the window at the raindrops that glistened as we passed under street lamps. There's something about being on a night bus with a bunch of strangers -as we all stepped off the overheated bus at comfort stops, teeth chattering as we zipped up our jackets with frozen fingers and pulled lamely at our beanies, there was a sense of camaraderie - friendly nods, sleepy hellos, each one holding the toilet door open for the next..little things like that that made me feel like I was part of the Night Bus Family!

And then of course we climbed back on board, rushed to our seats (there weren't many of us stupid enough to sit all night in winter, in a bus..on a bus? so we each had 2) and promptly disappeared into our own little worlds. Still, it was all nice and cosy.

Reached Palmy at 4.40am and waited a few mins for Sujit to pick me up (he had ice issues with his windscreen) in the biting cold. I suddenly remembered novels I'd read in which the hero/heroine hopped from one foot to another in a bid to stay warm in freezing winters. So I tried that. Next time I read about someone doing that, I can smugly tell them that it doesn't work. So there!

We sat up and chatted for a bit and then decided to sleep for a few hours, since we didn't plan on sleeping that night. When we woke up, we had my favouritestest breakfast ever - pancakes!!! Rekha's Such a sweety - each time I visit her, she makes it a point to get/make something I like. We sat around and caught up for a while, and then rushed to shower, get ready and head off to Ezibuy for a spot of shopping while Sujit (predictably) rushed off to get his wife a bday present! He totally underestimated her when he told me not to tell her where he was going. So I was all- oh Sujit went to return the dvds etc and she was like yeah he told me was going to do that, but I know he's gone to get me a card and a present. And I was like cheh! You guessed?! And she was like yeah..I know him really well now. I even know what he's getting me! Sigh. I hope when I get married my husband has a bit more ingenuity. And if he's gonna get me a bday present, bothers to get it before my bday. But I digress.

Actually at this point, I have to tell you about Jagrati's theory. She's one person who won't buy you a gift unless she's found something that makes her think of you, even if it's months after your bday. I totally get this way of thinking and it does make sense to a certain extent. I draw the line, though, at more than one friend thinking this way. Coz then I won't get any presents on my bday! And wat's a bday without presents?!?! Speaking of which, Rekha got lovely lovely presents!! It was great!

So anyway, we did some shopping and then Rekha took the whole gang out to lunch at a lovely place! I'd been wanting to go to Rendezvous on 2 previous trips but for some reason or other, we'd never been able to make it. So this time, 6 of us went for a beautiful lunch - very sweet of them to take us to lunch! Again, I was so touched! (Actually come to think of it, we had lunch and then went shopping...ah details details!)

Back home Jaggu and I decided to be bartenders for the nite, so we got cracking and studied Rekha's cocktail book and the notes I'd printed out (I take my jobs very seriously!), made lists and went to the liquor store and supermarket for provisions. Our grand plan was to make 3 different cocktails for the nite - how we thought we'd pull that off with only 1 cocktail shaker between us I have no idea! So as you can probably imagine, we ended up making only Mojitos all nite long (they were surprisingly good. And we even rimmed the glasses for fun and served them in martini glasses coz they were prettier! Oh and we also added sprigs of mint for garnishing. We were very pleased with ourselves). Actually after the first 5 drinks, we quit! Hari had to take over. We had a great nite - lots of alcohol, lots of dancing, stupid drinking games, lots of laughter and a general feeling of kinship that has been missing for a while now.

Sunday, we predictably woke up late - Rekha and I were up by 10 and we sat down and chatted over coffee for a few hours before the others wandered in bleary-eyed and still in their pyjamas. By 2pm I had to leave to get back on the bus to Roto-vegas, where I was greeted with rain bucketing down and Mel, her mom and Lenny who'd come to pick me up. We traded stories, had a steaming mug of hot chocolate each and fell into bed by 8.30.

This morning, we drove back through bouts of torrential rain and patches of thick fog. Thankfully we made it back in one piece.  ¶ 3:40 pm

  Children #2 So that previous post was the result of all the long conversations Mel and I have been having, but also of my morning's babysitting experience. I've known this child for a year now and I've watched him grow from a sulky, constantly-crying, clingy little one year into a happy, sunny, smiley 2 year old who doesn't wail anymore when mommy goes off for counselling but just climbs into my lap and watches me type, or plays with his cars right next to me as I work at the computer.

And that's just what he was doing today. My desk is an L-shaped one with the computer on one section and piles and piles of papers on the other (yes, I know, I really need to do some filing. That's beside the point though). So while I was typing away, this little chap came over with his cars, stood beside me with his back facing me and played with his cars on the extension of my desk. He was so absorbed in controlling his little urban world that he didn't notice when I stopped typing and started watching him play. It's fascinating watching little children play because they figure out so much more than we give them credit for.

This little boy used my files and papers as bridges and fly-overs for his little ambulance truck and 2 matchbox-type cars and he stood there with his head resting on my arm for almost half an hour, weaving his vehicles through all the "traffic" and across "fly-overs." I'm not too sure why watching him play fascinated me so much but I stopped what I was working on and just watched him for half an hour. I think it was a combination of things - I saw him not as a child, but as a human being who was making decisions, learning things and as someone who had grown so much as a person in one year. And I was proud of him. And he's not even my kid! It was a little freaky how attached I am to this child - I mean he totally trashed my office and I didn't even get mad. I just got him to help me put stuff back by making it a game. Like how Super Nanny said.

I got a little freaked out at that point because I totally got what people have been saying to me time and again - it's different when it's your own child. I used to be all yeah yeah watever. But now - I mean there I was watching him play, smiling back at his toothy, dribbly grins, feeling all proud at how he's grown, thinking I'll miss him when I leave and wanting to grab him and hold him close - and he's not even mine!

So maybe if I did happen to have one of my own at some point in my life, it wouldn't be all bad...  ¶ 11:49 am

  Children... Of late, Mel and I have been having in-depth discussions on the subject. Our opinions sway from the oh-hell-who-wants-the-responsibility to sigh-kids-are-cute-I-want-one-too!

I have nothing against kids per se and I must admit that I quite like playing with them and holding them which I'm quite relieved about because I went through a phase some years back where I intensely disliked being around kids - especially screamy ones! Now I don't mind it as much at all - even the screaming. It's tiring, but I just try and figure out if they need anything and if not, just ignore them and soon enough, it dies down. But then - playing with and holding someone else's kid is totally different from having my own coz I know I can give him/her back. And trust me, that makes all the difference!

So I've been asking myself - why do people want kids? Is it because it's something that's expected of you once you get married? Is it because you want to keep your family name alive? Or to pass on your genes? Or so that you'll have someone to look after you when you're old and decrepit? Those are all reasons I've heard from different parents but none of them make any sense to me.

So that takes me back to square one. If I were to want children at some point, what would the reason for that be. If I'm truly honest, I'm reaaallly keen to see what they'd look like. But that's really not a good enough reason. So then maybe because I've heard that motherhood is a rewarding experience and I want to experience carrying my own child and giving birth to a tiny little human being? Hmmm yeah, possibly. But the problem with that is, what if after I have the child I decide that I've had enough of the experience and I don't really want anymore of it? That's the thing though - motherhood isn't a job that you can resign for. And I don't like feeling trapped.

And then I think maybe I'm thinking about it too much. Maybe I should deal with it just as I deal with other things in life - go with my gut instinct and then go with the flow. Cross bridges when you get to them and stuff like that.

Yup. I think that's what I'll do. But then I'm left with this little niggling voice at the back of my head - so do you want kids or not?!

Good god I don't know! I guess if they come along I'll look after them, nurture them etc etc but I'm definitely not getting clucky like Some other people I know - not any time soon anyway!  ¶ 10:45 am

  Weekend retreat
Actually I think I'll just go ahead and blog about the bush walks in this same post! hehe

So on Saturday morning, I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, pottered around the cabin for a bit (Oh - i forgot to add that altho it was a wonderful experience overall, the toilet facilities were extremely difficult to manage! they had dehydrating toilets (whatever that means in English) which meant that you couldn't flush. ahem.yeah. very difficult!) and then decided that I should really do some of those bush walks. So for about half an hour I pored over the 2 sets of documents they had so thoughtfully provided - one was the map itself, rather confusingly marked in different colours, each colour indicating a trail and the other was a detailed narrative about the walks, a paragraph on each which included a difficulty rating (DR). The ratings were 1-5, 1 being a walk that was suitable for "couch potatoes" and 5 being those that were recommended for "macho moutaineers." And yes, there's a reason for getting so specific.

So there I was, figuring out the trails and reading the corresponding descriptions on the other stapled sheet and I finally decided on one that was a DR of about 2-3. I thought that would be difficult enough to give me a sense of accomplishment and yet not have me wandering off cliffs and to a stony death (there was actually one description that cautioned the hapless traveller to be careful as "this walk ends abruptly and if you're not careful, you could plunge hundreds of feet to your death" yikes).

So then I spent the next half hour carefully packing my little day pack according to yet another set of notes thoughtfully provided, which told me that I should take a snack, a bottle of water, a rain jacket (which I threw out in a moment of madness when I decided that I really must learn to pack light and when better to start the education process than when you were going to the middle of nowhere by yourself!) and some other stuff that I can't remember now, but diligently put in my day pack anywhere. And then I thought but I Have to take pictures so in went the camera. And then...hmm what if I get lonely and need some music so in went the discman (yes, i know but I lost my mp3 player and I'm one of approximately 2 people in the developed world who has never owned an ipod). And then I discovered that I hadn't been given a key to the cabin so I decided that I had to take my wallet with me as well just in case! And then the notes had said that I should take a cellphone Just in case I got lost and there happened to be coverage! So that went in too.

Finally me and my bulging day pack left the cabin and started our journey on The Amida Way, towards the Stupa at which a certain Rimpoche's remains had been buried. I decided that from there, I'd do little bush walks in the area and then take a different trail back. During the hour I had spent planning, dark-ish rain clouds had gathered and since I didn't fancy being lost and wet, I decided not to wander too far.

So off I went, pausing here, there and everywhere to take a multitude of photos which today, all look pretty similar(!) and about 15mins into the track, I stopped and surveyed my situation. Ahead of me was jungle (I have no clue why the NZers call this 'bush' - so deceptive. It had me thinking there'd be a bunch of low plants and lots of grass. Instead, there were tons of massive trees, interlocking roots and branches and lots of gorse plants - and yes, they were very poke-y *creative license, people*) and it was all uphill and below me, was a steep, slippery slope down. So going back down was not an option as I didn't really want to roll all the way down and risk breaking my neck. There wasn't any point going sideways coz the map said if I wanted to get to the stupa, I should go straight up.

So I bravely fashioned myself a staff out of a fallen branch, and feeling all intrepid traveller-like, beat the branches from my path, and soldiered on. About 10min later, covered in twigs and leaves and marvelling the fact that if I were truly lost, there was no cellphone coverage here which meant that I would only be discovered after noon the next day coz till then, noone would even know I was missing. It was a very interesting thought. I comforted myself with the knowledge that this was only a DR of 2-3 so it couldn't be all that bad and that instead of panicking, I should just keep going before it started to rain and things got a whole lot worse. So I consulted the colourful map again, decided I was headed in the right direction for sure - altho I couldn't see a thing other than trees - and kept walking. I literally had to create a path for myself and disentangle my legs from roots and branches at points but it was an amazing experience. I felt so adventurous!!

Finally, just as I was beginning to think that there was something seriously wrong here, I saw a clearing to the left. Thinking that could be it, I ran towards it, quite ready to get out of the bush-jungle and it really was it! I saw the gleaming white of the stupa in the distance and the bush/jungle-covered mountain ranges beyond. And I started to sing! No I mean it, I really started to sing. I was all alone - not a soul in sight- and I had done my first solo bush/jungle trek and survived! It was definitely worth singing about. Oh and all this had taken about 40 min in total - seemed a Lot longer.

I spent the next 40 mins sitting at the base of the stupa which upon close inspection was really a lot bigger than it looked from the clearing, and doing the Meditation Walk. There was a 360degree view of the mountains and straight ahead from where I was sitting, I could see the valleys on either side meet at a point and in the middle of that and beyond it, the sea. The sky was a mild blue-grey, there were multi-coloured prayer flags fluttering around the stupa in true Tibetan tradition and at the base of the stupa were heavy silver bells, tibetan singing bowls and incense. It was all very peaceful so I just sat there for a while, thinking, singing to myself and generally feeling very content with life.

It was also while I sat there thinking other-wordly thoughts, that I discovered the wonders of the self-timer button on the camera! So I snapped out of my peaceful headspace and started positioning the camera on this rock and that wall and taking pictures of myself :) It was heaps of fun!

I then decided to do the Meditation Walk which led from the stupa to the retreat centre site (it's being built). It was a much easier walk in a shaded spot filled with huge, ancient trees and although I didn't see anything particularly meditative about it, I do suppose it's easier to meditate when you're not beating down a path for yourself, or worried that you might plunge to a muddy death.

I made my way back to the cabin by the Dharma Road which was a charming little gravel path that wound its way down the mountainside and through archways of green trees with little birdies twittering away happily in them. Very ideallic.

As I entered the cabin, the heavens opened up and the downpour began. Someone up there is definitely looking out for me :)

Labels: Solitude

  ¶ 11:12 am

  Solitude I realised today, as I sat on the deck, nursing a glass of brandy and ginger beer (my new favourite) that I relish solitude these day. It's not that I don't luv the flatties, coz I do. most of the time :) But the difference is that these days, I work with tons of ppl and I have to do a lot of talking and listening during the course of the day. So much so that when I get back home, most of the time I'm just tired and not really thrilled to have to listen to everyone else's issues at home as well. I'm content with my daily ritual of settling on the deck with a drink and a good book, or sometimes, just the view.

When I started work here in Tauranga, and for most of the 1st year really, I worked alone. I also lived alone. Sometimes I'd go a whole work week without talking to anyone. There have been days when I get back home after days of not talking, and wonder if i've forgotten the art of making conversation. Yes, it's been that bad in the past. It used to freak me out and make me start talking to myself. Occassionally I'd pick up the phone and call a friend. Just to reassure myself.

Next weekend I'm off to a meditation retreat centre that's set in the midst of some of the best NZ bush. I've hired a cabin in the middle of nowhere in which I will find a gas stove, bed, linen and a map of hiking trails and bush walks in the surrounding area. I take my own food and reading material. I decided that I was in dire need of some me-time. There have been a significant number of things happening in my life of late and I think it's about time I take stock of things and figure out what I really want. I also just want to get away from people.

Another push factor is that I've never done something like this before. I decided that it's about time I travelled alone. Sure, I've taken bus, train and plane journeys alone - who hasn't - but I've always had someone waiting for me at the other end. Everyone seemed to have something planned for next weekend (Anzac weekend) so I thought what better time to expand my horizons.

So I got online that day to suss out my options and I came across Sudarshanaloka - a Buddhist meditation and retreat centre - and it looked perfect! And so, my friends, I'm looking forward to some solitude next weekend - no tv, no laptop, no cellphone (the worst bit) and no people. Just me and a bunch of trees. Good lord I hope there won't be any creepy crawlies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, i'm off to lala land now - didn't get much sleep, thanks to certain countries and they're pathetic telecom systems!  ¶ 11:35 pm