In Limbo I haven't posted for a long while now because on one hand, so much has been happening..so much change that it's unsettled me. And yet all this change is not concrete enough to blog about.

As you can probably tell, I'm rather confused at this point in time and not really expressing myself too well.

One change has just taken place - I've moved from the country I consider home and that I've been in for the past 3 months, back to one that I've lived in all my life.And now I stand at the threshold of yet another change. An even more momentous one which will take me from this place, my comfort zone, from the bosom of people I've known much of my life to one which promises excitement and all things new but where I know not a soul.

For a long time now, I've been opening my arms to this change. I've felt the need for it. I've been wishing for just this opportunity - to be able to get away and be completely anonymous someplace and to be able to survive it and get through my life there all on my own. To put it simply, I've been feeling the need to assert my independance.

But now that the ground work has been done, the foundation laid, and all that's left to do is to arrange for my air ticket and to sort my personal belongings out, I'm getting a little nervous. It's not a fear as such...I'm still excited by the change. But excitement is currently taking the backseat, unceremoniously pushed aside by a sense of nervousness.

Perhaps it's just an anxious feeling that everything should go well and a sub-conscious nervousness that I'll flounder. And yet as I say this I feel that I'm not doing justice to myself. I've weathered many a storm, and successfully too. Sure there'll be hard times but deep down within me, I'm confident that I'll succeed and grow from this experience.

At gloomy moments, I need to hang on to this inner conidence and give it life. Not quell it with needless anxieties. And that's why I'm blogging about it today - to constantly remind myself that I can do it and that indeed, I will.
  ¶ 7:45 pm