Today was a good day....
I woke up at 6.30 am for some strange reason, to howling winds, the threat of pouring rain and a beautiful sunrise! I sat at my open window for a while, watching the sun rise in all its glory, accompanied by hues of pinks and oranges, the wind in my face and the gentle morning-sounds of birds chirping. It was so refreshing.
Afterward, I crawled back under the warmth of my (well actually Rekha's) duvet and contemplated reading my new find, Conversations with God (well, Dino's find actually but I bought it!) but decided against it. Instead I lay there, listening to soothing music and letting my thoughts wander. Fell asleep for another couple of hours, woke up and lounged in bed, listening to the household wake up and wander around, yelling good mornings to each other. Soon breakfast preparations were well underway and Rekha came in to wake me up.
Decided to get down to writing a wedding card for a friend who got married a couple of days ago (dammit - meant to do that weeks back!!!!) Also wrote out a poem on marriage that I'm especially fond of, on pretty paper, for her. Will send it with the card tomorrow.
Finally got down to giving my scalp a good oil massage - with pure sandalwood oil! Not sure if it's usually used on the head, but didn't have any other oil and also, it's not the artificially scented stuff, but the real, pure stuff so I figured it should be ok. Must remember to ask aromatherapy guru aka Manavi, if it really is. After a good long chat with a friend, I suddenly realised that the others were all showered and ready to go out and I hadn't even gotten into the shower yet (and I had to wash my hair..not an easy feat!) Showered and dressed in record speed and we left for more furniture shopping (window shopping in my case) for the new place.
As I reclined in style and tried out bed after bed, I mentally decorated my dream house - something I've done for years..since I was about 10 I guess. I have a good mental picture of my dream house - the house that I will finally buy and furnish when I grow up. Today, for the first time, I felt a little melancholic when I planned my house - will I ever ever get there? I saw a bee-yoooo-tee-fool bedroom set - I could totally picture it in my dream bedroom - dark, heavy wood with a single tempered glass panel running the length of the dresssing table and the length of the top of the tall boy (of course - it was a set, so they all matched!). The dressing table mirror was a large square one - the type that entices you to look at it, the drawer handles were sleek silver.
It was a drool-worthy bedroom set. Oh and the bed linen was a dull silver....
ok I'll stop drooling now.
After much window-shopping, we were walking back to the car when we stopped at a 2ndhand furniture shop - I wanted to look at some of their desks. As we entered, a cute little toy dog came charging out to the entrance, to greet us. He was a little bundle of white fur, some sort of terrier, tongue-lolling and fur in his eyes. He sat quietly and let me tickle him behind his ears and under his chin. Then he rolled over and enjoyed the tickling some more. He was adorable! Didn't find much in the shop, so we left and resumed our walk to the car, when we walked by a 2ndhand bookshop and whose books should I see on the shelf nearest the window, but Wilbur Smith's! I have been looking for his River God ever since Dino told me what a good book it is - and it was there, sitting on the shelf, priced at 8 bucks! I ran in, picked it up, paid for it and ran out as fast as I could (the others were already int he car by then!) I was so pleased with myself!! Now it will sit with the rest of my books, till the time comes to read it. But that's alright coz I know i'll read it..someday.
After all that, we stopped by Cafe Cuba for a much needed coffee and then headed back home where the others are playing Need For Speed, cooking and so on....oh lord! I just remembered I'm in charge of the rice and its still on the stove!!!!!!! aarrggghh!!!!
Oh thank god - one of the others took it off and drained it! phew.
Now it's dinner time, movie time and then sleep time! The movie for the nite is The Weight of Water. It's based on a novel by Anita Shreve and has a stellar cast (I can't remember who right now, but I remember thinking its a good cast when I looked at the cover int he video store)
Nite!
Random Ramblings
It's been a while since the last post and SO much has happened between then and now. I don't know where to start and to be quite honest, i don't really feel like blogging right now - combination of too much to say, not knowing where to start, how much to say and well...feeling sleepy!
Once again, i stand on the threshold of change. We're moving house in less than 2 weeks and i complete my degree in less than 2 months. Should I take the job and move to a place I've never been to? Should I stay on in Palmy and see what happens? If I get to do a Masters and it's only in Auckland, should I move? Decisions, decisions, decisions. Sometimes I really wish I could run to away to the Himalayas and live in complete anonymity - not have to deal with choices and decisions, finances, studies, work, relationships, people, bills, responsibility.
So Auckland was lovely for a whole host of reasons. There are still a couple of things I wanted to do but didn't (totally forgot while I was there). The next time I'm there, I must remember to check out Massey Albany if it isn't too difficult to get there, must hang out with Bas at least for a bit, must get in touch with Wa'el - meant to, but totally forgot that I'd said I'd text him when I got there. Oh and I wanna make it over to Waiheke as well. One more thing - must do Rangitoto again - this time with less huffing and puffing and with a camera. That's one thing I feel so bad about - not taking a single photo. Apart from friends threatening to kill me for the lack of visuals, I feel a little..I'm not even sure I know how to put the feeling in words...the 5 days I was there seems a little elusive...I WISH I had some tangible evidence of the time I had there. Anyway, what's done's done, no point whining.
The interview in Auckland went well. I quite enjoy interviews in general..meeting new people, talking about what they do, and especially when the interview's for a job in a field that's so close to my heart, learning about the organisation, comparing it with the one I used to work for, comparing the kinds of work done, the structure of the organisation, what could be done in the future and stuff like that - fun!
There are many bits that stand out, with regards to the Auckland trip, some happy, some laced with a sense of nostalgia and some confusing. I learnt quite a bit on this trip as well - about people, places and myself. One of the happiest days was Friday: the lazy morning, the trip to the peaceful Buddhist temple, relaxing and chatting at the Chinese tea house, the walk up and down Mission Bay, ice-creams in hand, the wind in our faces, the golden retriever frolicking in the sea, the stories that were shared and the finale - barbecue (brai? is that how its spelt?) and cranium at pree and aj's place filled with laughs and an easy camaraderie. I may not have photographs but the emotions, sounds, sights and smells are firmly etched in my memory...
The morning at Bals' place was also memorable - she's such a lovely person and reminds me so much of Lavina (tho a less ascerbic version!Lavina - if you're reading this, I love you and miss you dearly..sharp tongue and all!). There are some people who infuse you with energy and some who sap yours. Bals belongs to the former category and being with her filled me with energy and a general zest for life! Her house reflects her warmth and enthusiasm. Once her parents got home, I got an odd sense of having stepped into a Bollywood set - complete with Punjabi conversation and the strains of Hindi music wafting into the kitchen from the bedrooms - oh and of course..her mom mixing atta and deftly rolling out and roasting rotis on the tava, all in about 5 min flat while I watched in amazement.
Borders was lovely. I was in raptures, it was like bumping into an old old friend in a strange country. As I walked around, inhaling the scent of new books and sitting in the cafe, I couldn't stop reminiscing - mummy and I used to do this all the time...settle down in Borders for hours on end with books and then head over to the cafe to discuss them over coffees. I kept remembering all the times we checked out Borders at Wheelock place and then walked around Orchard road, or went for a movie across, at Lido, the time we went for Bend It Like Beckham at Lido and were in splits, we were practically clutching each other in our desperation to laugh softly. Thinking about movies led me to the time (the day before Diwali) she picked me up from work in a cab and sped all the way across the island (we had to rush in case the tickets were all sold out) to Bedok to watch Baghban simply coz it had a good cast and found the theatre so empty we could've played musical chairs in it (there were abt 5 others) and the movie so unbelievably ditzy that we had to make fun of it thru'out to keep ourselves amused. We ended up having a good time only coz we were talking thru'out (softly of course. and the other 5 were rows and rows away) and laughing our heads off at the dumb bits (most of the movie). So the trip turned into a slightly nostalgic one, where I had good cause to remember the good times with mummy and daddy, manu and tony and also my closest friends. Uncannily enough, his friends remind me SO much of them - pree reminded me so much, at times, of taran, it wasn't funny!
Foodtv was something else that I loved and totally miss now! Dresssmart was tonnes of fun - partly coz I got to hang out and shop by myself, something I've always loved doing and haven't been able to do much of offlate. I settled down with a good book and coffee and then wandered round the shops with myself for company. Noone to tell me to hurry up (except the shopkeepers who so rudely started closing up at 2min to 5pm!), no one to tell me that i don't need anymore clothes (but i do!!) and noone to drag me to shops that i had no interest in! heaven!
Rangitoto on Monday was a good climb and a spectacular view. Totallly camera-worthy, unfortunately. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to do it again!
One thing that I learnt on the trip - didn't actually learn it, come to think of it, it was just reinforced - the power of a simple hug to make you (well, me actually) feel better. I've actually always known that but well...this trip highlighted it. I could be feeling like absolute crap, get a good, simple, warm hug and suddenly the day's a little brighter and the mood's much lighter! Powerful!
Dunno if I really learnt anything else, except that we human beings are much more complex than we give ourselves credit for. Oh - and that life does not go on when something that really hurts, happens. True, the sun sets, rises and so on, as usual and we still breathe and possibly follow the same routine. But I guess what the poets and writers meant when they wrote the now-cliched life comes to an complete standstill/abrupt halt/stops - is that we continue to exist, but cease to live. We are technically alive, but our hearts and souls are not in it. I'm not too sure where this suddenly came from, or why I'm even getting into this. It's just something that bothered me for a while - why is it, that when someone says "oh well life goes on" I feel a little niggling sense of him/her being dismissive? It's almost as if the pain isn't taken into account - kinda like you're still alive, you're gonna keep being alive so quit grumbling...but that's not it...
ok i'm going off on a tangent so I think i'll stop now - my bed, hurtful though he is (he's rather lumpy and therefore not too comfy) is tempting me. He's calling out to me in that silent, masterful way of his. Okay. deffffinitely time for bed.
I'm not done reminiscing, though. The next post will be about this house. The times we've had here. I've been through a lot here and in ways, maybe it is apt to move on now. Though I've been here only slightly over a year, it's filled with memories - many happy, many painful. Many nights of sobbing into the pillow followed by many mornings of not wanting to get out of bed. Sometimes I wonder why I seem to remember the painful times when I think about this house and this room in particular, when there were innumerable happy ones too. Perhaps, while the happy memories outweigh the sad and painful in terms of quantity, the sad times in this house have been some of the saddest to date. A huge part of me is glad to be able to leave them behind and yet another part of me is afraid to let go.
Perhaps what's happening now, the distance, the confusion is just an extension of last year. What a scary thought. Its weird...while NZ has been fantastic on the education front and personal growth in that sense, it's been a jinx on the other personal front. Ah well...what happens happens. I'm a firm believer of that - I do what I can. the rest will hapen if it's meant to. If it's not, no amount of analysing or wishing will make it come true.
On that note, I shall now make my way to dreamland (hopefully. Dreamland's supposed to be a peaceful, happy, restful place. Of late my dreams have been so action-packed that I wake up feeling ragged and far from restful. Sometimes I feel like I've just fought in a battle and wake up with a pounding headache as a result!)
Nite!
