Solitude I realised today, as I sat on the deck, nursing a glass of brandy and ginger beer (my new favourite) that I relish solitude these day. It's not that I don't luv the flatties, coz I do. most of the time :) But the difference is that these days, I work with tons of ppl and I have to do a lot of talking and listening during the course of the day. So much so that when I get back home, most of the time I'm just tired and not really thrilled to have to listen to everyone else's issues at home as well. I'm content with my daily ritual of settling on the deck with a drink and a good book, or sometimes, just the view.

When I started work here in Tauranga, and for most of the 1st year really, I worked alone. I also lived alone. Sometimes I'd go a whole work week without talking to anyone. There have been days when I get back home after days of not talking, and wonder if i've forgotten the art of making conversation. Yes, it's been that bad in the past. It used to freak me out and make me start talking to myself. Occassionally I'd pick up the phone and call a friend. Just to reassure myself.

Next weekend I'm off to a meditation retreat centre that's set in the midst of some of the best NZ bush. I've hired a cabin in the middle of nowhere in which I will find a gas stove, bed, linen and a map of hiking trails and bush walks in the surrounding area. I take my own food and reading material. I decided that I was in dire need of some me-time. There have been a significant number of things happening in my life of late and I think it's about time I take stock of things and figure out what I really want. I also just want to get away from people.

Another push factor is that I've never done something like this before. I decided that it's about time I travelled alone. Sure, I've taken bus, train and plane journeys alone - who hasn't - but I've always had someone waiting for me at the other end. Everyone seemed to have something planned for next weekend (Anzac weekend) so I thought what better time to expand my horizons.

So I got online that day to suss out my options and I came across Sudarshanaloka - a Buddhist meditation and retreat centre - and it looked perfect! And so, my friends, I'm looking forward to some solitude next weekend - no tv, no laptop, no cellphone (the worst bit) and no people. Just me and a bunch of trees. Good lord I hope there won't be any creepy crawlies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anyway, i'm off to lala land now - didn't get much sleep, thanks to certain countries and they're pathetic telecom systems!  ¶ 11:35 pm