Weekend retreat
So to follow on from that last post, the retreat was magnificent! It was a full two days of true solitude. Also on that trip, I figured out the difference between being alone, and solitude. Previously, when I was living and working alone as I mentioned in the earlier post, sure it was difficult some days. But the difference is this - those day, I'd still here my neighbours, cars going by, babies screaming, kids playing...the normal noises of civilisation as we know it. During my weekend of solitude, from the time I was dropped off at my cabin on Friday afternoon till I was picked up on Sunday afternoon, I saw and heard not a soul and neither did I hear any road noises or people-noises. It was just me, a whole bunch of trees, possums scampering busily up and down the roof, the morepok owl (yes, I actually know its name!), other random birds, the wind and the sound of water from somewhere far away. Oh yes - and the rain on Sat nite and Sun morning.
It was a very soothing weekend and I can safely say with no exaggeration that I'd never felt better at the end of it. I read a lot, I stared out at the scenery spread before me a lot, listened to restful music, did some meditation, ate simply and slept incredibly well. I also got in some bush walks but those deserve a whole post to themselves.
The lady who picked me up from Thames and drove me to the cabin (and the same in reverse on Sunday) was lovely. She'd lived in Sudarshanaloka for about 15years and has travelled extensively. She was very interesting and we got on well - to the point that she invited me over to the community house where the people who live there, stay. But well...much as I wanted to go over, I figured that would defeat the purpose of the trip, so I stayed put.
Actually I think I'll just go ahead and blog about the bush walks in this same post! hehe
So on Saturday morning, I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, pottered around the cabin for a bit (Oh - i forgot to add that altho it was a wonderful experience overall, the toilet facilities were extremely difficult to manage! they had dehydrating toilets (whatever that means in English) which meant that you couldn't flush. ahem.yeah. very difficult!) and then decided that I should really do some of those bush walks. So for about half an hour I pored over the 2 sets of documents they had so thoughtfully provided - one was the map itself, rather confusingly marked in different colours, each colour indicating a trail and the other was a detailed narrative about the walks, a paragraph on each which included a difficulty rating (DR). The ratings were 1-5, 1 being a walk that was suitable for "couch potatoes" and 5 being those that were recommended for "macho moutaineers." And yes, there's a reason for getting so specific.
So there I was, figuring out the trails and reading the corresponding descriptions on the other stapled sheet and I finally decided on one that was a DR of about 2-3. I thought that would be difficult enough to give me a sense of accomplishment and yet not have me wandering off cliffs and to a stony death (there was actually one description that cautioned the hapless traveller to be careful as "this walk ends abruptly and if you're not careful, you could plunge hundreds of feet to your death" yikes).
So then I spent the next half hour carefully packing my little day pack according to yet another set of notes thoughtfully provided, which told me that I should take a snack, a bottle of water, a rain jacket (which I threw out in a moment of madness when I decided that I really must learn to pack light and when better to start the education process than when you were going to the middle of nowhere by yourself!) and some other stuff that I can't remember now, but diligently put in my day pack anywhere. And then I thought but I Have to take pictures so in went the camera. And then...hmm what if I get lonely and need some music so in went the discman (yes, i know but I lost my mp3 player and I'm one of approximately 2 people in the developed world who has never owned an ipod). And then I discovered that I hadn't been given a key to the cabin so I decided that I had to take my wallet with me as well just in case! And then the notes had said that I should take a cellphone Just in case I got lost and there happened to be coverage! So that went in too.
Finally me and my bulging day pack left the cabin and started our journey on The Amida Way, towards the Stupa at which a certain Rimpoche's remains had been buried. I decided that from there, I'd do little bush walks in the area and then take a different trail back. During the hour I had spent planning, dark-ish rain clouds had gathered and since I didn't fancy being lost
and wet, I decided not to wander too far.
So off I went, pausing here, there and everywhere to take a multitude of photos which today, all look pretty similar(!) and about 15mins into the track, I stopped and surveyed my situation. Ahead of me was jungle (I have no clue why the NZers call this 'bush' - so deceptive. It had me thinking there'd be a bunch of low plants and lots of grass. Instead, there were tons of massive trees, interlocking roots and branches and lots of gorse plants - and yes, they were very poke-y *creative license, people*) and it was all uphill and below me, was a steep, slippery slope down. So going back down was not an option as I didn't really want to roll all the way down and risk breaking my neck. There wasn't any point going sideways coz the map said if I wanted to get to the stupa, I should go straight up.
So I bravely fashioned myself a staff out of a fallen branch, and feeling all intrepid traveller-like, beat the branches from my path, and soldiered on. About 10min later, covered in twigs and leaves and marvelling the fact that if I were truly lost, there was no cellphone coverage here which meant that I would only be discovered after noon the next day coz till then, noone would even know I was missing. It was a very interesting thought. I comforted myself with the knowledge that this was only a DR of 2-3 so it couldn't be all that bad and that instead of panicking, I should just keep going before it started to rain and things got a whole lot worse. So I consulted the colourful map again, decided I was headed in the right direction for sure - altho I couldn't see a thing other than trees - and kept walking. I literally had to create a path for myself and disentangle my legs from roots and branches at points but it was an amazing experience. I felt so adventurous!!
Finally, just as I was beginning to think that there was something seriously wrong here, I saw a clearing to the left. Thinking that could be it, I ran towards it, quite ready to get out of the bush-jungle and it really was it! I saw the gleaming white of the stupa in the distance and the bush/jungle-covered mountain ranges beyond. And I started to sing! No I mean it, I really started to sing. I was all alone - not a soul in sight- and I had done my first solo bush/jungle trek and survived! It was definitely worth singing about. Oh and all this had taken about 40 min in total - seemed a Lot longer.
I spent the next 40 mins sitting at the base of the stupa which upon close inspection was really a lot bigger than it looked from the clearing, and doing the Meditation Walk. There was a 360degree view of the mountains and straight ahead from where I was sitting, I could see the valleys on either side meet at a point and in the middle of that and beyond it, the sea. The sky was a mild blue-grey, there were multi-coloured prayer flags fluttering around the stupa in true Tibetan tradition and at the base of the stupa were heavy silver bells, tibetan singing bowls and incense. It was all very peaceful so I just sat there for a while, thinking, singing to myself and generally feeling very content with life.
It was also while I sat there thinking other-wordly thoughts, that I discovered the wonders of the self-timer button on the camera! So I snapped out of my peaceful headspace and started positioning the camera on this rock and that wall and taking pictures of myself :) It was heaps of fun!
I then decided to do the Meditation Walk which led from the stupa to the retreat centre site (it's being built). It was a
much easier walk in a shaded spot filled with huge, ancient trees and although I didn't see anything particularly meditative about it, I do suppose it's easier to meditate when you're not beating down a path for yourself, or worried that you might plunge to a muddy death.
I made my way back to the cabin by the Dharma Road which was a charming little gravel path that wound its way down the mountainside and through archways of green trees with little birdies twittering away happily in them. Very ideallic.
As I entered the cabin, the heavens opened up and the downpour began. Someone up there is definitely looking out for me :)
Labels: Solitude
